Grief Relief

    If you have lived for any length of time you have had your fair share of grief. There have been loved one's who have passed on, jobs that you have lost, relationships ruined, the list could go on and on. Grief is sadly one of the problems that all of us face in this life. 

    The author Edgar Jackson in a few short words describes grief perfectly. He writes;

Grief is a young widow trying to raise her three children, alone. Grief is the man so filled with shocked uncertainty and confusion that he strikes out at the nearest person. Grief is a mother walking daily to a nearby cemetery to stand quietly and alone a few minutes before going about the tasks of the day. She knows that part of her is in the cemetery, just as part of her is in her daily work. Grief is the silent, knife-like terror and sadness that comes a hundred times a day, when you start to speak to someone who is no longer there. Grief is the emptiness that comes when you eat alone after eating with another for many years.

Grief is teaching yourself to go to bed without saying good night to the one who had died. Grief is the helpless wishing that things were different when you know they are not and never will be again. Grief is a whole cluster of adjustments, apprehensions, and uncertainties that strike life in its forward progress and make it difficult to redirect the energies of life.

    I wonder as you read those words if you could relate to it like I did. Can you relate to one of those situations or have you ever felt similar emotions. Like I said grief is just something that we have all have faced from time to time. In fact it may very well be the situation that you currently find your self as you are reading this today. 

    I can tell you that I have personally have had my share of grief. I remember having to go home after being fired from my job at Vanderbilt Hospital just a few short weeks before Christmas and finding out that my wife was pregnant with our second child. I remember the day my mother called me to tell my that my uncle Bob had passed away. I remember the day that I buried both my mother and my father. Then there was the time when my parents were going through their divorce. I remember the day my father took me aside to inform me that I had to be held back in school and that I had a learning disability (dyslexia).

     I could share with you all the tears I have cried, all the sleepless nights I have tossed in bed. I am sure you could share you own stories of suffering and loss. However in all the things I have gone through I have only found four things that have helped me through those moments of grief and heart ache. I want to share those with you today in the hopes that it will somehow be of some help for you today. 

    First thing that has helped me is this; Allow yourself to Grieve in your time and in your own way. We are all different and we all grieve differently. Its ok to cry, and it is perfectly acceptable to laugh. Its ok to be somber and desire to be left alone. It is equally ok to be surrounded by people and making jokes. It's ok to spend a day or a week or even months grieving. It is also ok for you to grieve in a shorter time span. Everyone's pain and hurt is different and how we process this pain is different as well. 

    The bottom line is this; don't try to be the strong one. Don't bottle up your emotions and pretend you are not hurting. While laughing and cracking jokes is fine if that is how you grieve, don't use humor to cover up what your going through in side. God gave you those emotions for a reason. I want to remind you that the bible even tells us that Jesus wept, so it's ok for you to do it as well. 

    Secondly, Time. I have found that time does not erase the pain, but it does lessen it. There are moments when it would seem you will never be the same. You may feel like you can't go on living. Believe me I have been there my self. However, I have found that in time the pain of your grief will lesson and be come easier to bear. In time the pain will lesson. There will be moment when the pain will come up and you will be reminded of your loss, but it won't be as hard as it is now. 

    Thirdly, Spending time with Jesus. By this I don't mean to go through the motions of religion. In times of grief and pain you need the person of Jesus Christ to help through the agony of your grief. Spend time talking with Him in prayer, be open and honest with Him. Share with Jesus the pain your dealing with the sadness you feel. Most of the Psalms that are written in the bible and there are 150 of them, were written in moments of grief, hardships and loss. Many of those Psalms you will read, the writer shares his raw emotions and pours out his pain to the Lord. You need to do that too. 

    Fourthly, Surround yourself with loved one's. Spend time with your family and your friends who love you and care for you. Talk with them, cry with them, spend time with them. Allow them the opportunity to comfort you and help you through this pain. Sometimes when we are going through grief we tend to shove people away. While it is ok to have some time of your own, make sure that you are not staying alone. Make sure that you allow your friend's and family comfort you in your grief. 

    It's that last part that I really want to challenge us as Christians with. The bible tells us in Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with rejoicing ones, and weep with weeping ones;" 

    So for those of you who are reading this ( and you have stayed this long ) if your going through a period of grief I hope these words will be helpful. I hope you will find someone, a family member, a friend, or a co-worker who will help you through it. 

    Those of us who are not going through a difficult time. I hope you would take the time to look around you and if you see someone who you know is going through a hard time. Don't let them go through it alone, especially if you call yourself a Christian. Be the shoulder they can cry on, a ear that is ready to listen. Give that person a word of encouragement. Write a card, send a message, or pick up the phone and let them know your thinking about them and praying for them. Life is hard enough, we should not have to go through it alone. 

A hard lesson to learn

   Socrates of Constantinople was a church historian who once told about a man named Pambo. Pambo one day came to Socrates at his home with a request. He said "Teach me a Psalm or some part of Scripture"

    Hearing this request Socrates began to read from Psalms 39 where it reads "I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue" 

    After Socrates finished the first verse Pambo asked Socrates to close the bible. Pambo told Socrates "I want to learn what that verse means and master it before I hear anymore". With that Pambo  left Socrates home and said "I will be back when I have mastered that verse". 

    Weeks went by and Pambo never showed back at Socrates house. Until one day Socrates, happened to accidentally ran into him at the market. He asked Pambo "Why have you not come back Pambo?" 

    Pambo replied and said "I am still trying to learn that first lesson you taught me about my tonuge." Many years later someone else asked Pambo about this first lesson and his answer was the same "I have yet to learn this lesson about my tongue " he said. 

    Pambo was right, learning to control our tonuge can be a very difficult thing to do. It is something that I know we all can struggle with from time to time. 

     Our tonuge can be one of the greatest tools we have to bless people with and encourage them. A simple thank you can cause someone to feel appreciated.  Telling someone how much you appreciate all the things that they are going can cause someone to feel valued and wanted. Letting someone know that you care for them can help someone who feels alone and abandoned. Your words can have the ability to bring joy, peace, strength and encouragements in the lives of so many around you. 

    While all that is true and so much more. Equally true is the fact that our words can also break people down. A harsh rebuke can cause someone to feel hurt and uncared for. A few words can cause lead to discouragement. With a few words that you might say out of anger or jealousy, can destroy someone. 

    The things we say good or bad have the ability to make a life long impact on someone's life. There are many people today that are still hearing the hateful things that they had heard about them as a child. Equally true is that there are many people who hare doing great things all because someone cared enough to encourage them and build them up when they were a child. 

    It reminds me of a sad story I heard about a woman who had been trying to lose weight and she was working out. She was making good progress and she was watching what she ate. But she had a lot more to go. 

    Well one day as she finished her morning exercise a couple of kids were standing outside the gym. As she walked past them, she could see their glare and their giggles. Then she over heard one of the kids say "She look's like Schreck". She knew those kids were talking about her and it cut her to the core to hear it. She hurried to her car before the tears started to stream down her face. She quickly jumped in her car seat and shut the door only to ball her eyes out.

    Several day's went by and she continued to go to the gym but she was feeling very discouraged. Any time she looked at her self in the mirror she would hear those boys laughing and the looks that they gave her that day. No matter how wonderful she may have felt about the progress she was making was quickly dashed as she recalled those juvenile remarks.

    Well one day when she was finishing up her work out and heading out to her car she heard someone say "Hey?" She braced her self for what might come next. She was sure that someone was going to say something about her looks or her weight. 

    Reluctantly she looked back to see who was speaking and it was someone who was working out at the gym as well. He ran up to her and told said "Hey, I've noticed that you are in here everyday working hard and I just wanted to tell you to keep up the good work." 

    When she got back to her car and closed the car door, tears started streaming down her face. However these tears were not tears of sadness or hurt, but one of joy. Those were the words she needed to hear to keep herself going back to the gym, and to keep working hard. 

    We need to realize the power our tonuge has. It can be used to destroy and tear down others or it can be used to build up and encourage them. 

    So lets take some time out of our day or sometime this week and try to watch our tonuge. Lets try to use our tongue to encourage others, to build them up. Lets use our tongue to love others and to share the gospel. 

    Let us strive to avoid criticism and judgmental attitudes toward others. Lets strive to avoid mean and malicious gossip and not give it a place at our table. 

Contentment is Great Gain

    

    There was at one time an Italian bishop who had been struggling with his health. He had for some time, been struggling with a great amount of pain due to his ailment. Family, friends and those who were close to the bishop knew the amount of pain and struggle it was just to get out of bed. 

    The bishops struggles lasted for year and years. He would labor on each day with the pain and hardships due to his declining health. Those who were around the bishop and knew the struggle he had to endure each and every day were all amazed. Despite all that the bishop had to go through and the vast amount of pain that he had to endure; the bishop always had a positive attitude. In the years that they had watched the bishop day in and day out, not once did the bishop seemed irritated, impatient or depressed. 

    Well one day one of the bishops closest friends asked him "Would you tell me your secret on being content in this life"

    The bishop replied "well sure, I have found that in whatever state that I am in, the first thing I do is look up. I look up to the heavens and remember that all my principal business here is to get up there. Then I will look down to the ground. I look down and and remember how small a place I really occupy in this world and what small place I will occupy when I die. Then I take some time to look around me and I see the vast multitudes in this world who are in all respects more unhappy than myself. "

    "When I do this" the bishop continued, "I learn where true happiness is placed; where all our cares must end; and what little reason I have to complain and be discontent. 

   In the land of the free and home of the brave, with its amber waves of grain, there seems there has been for the past few years a growing discontentment in our culture. Makes no diffrence what side of the political spectrum you align yourself with, neither party seems to be happy. Everywhere you go you can hear people grumbling and complained over the price of gas, or the cost of groceries. You will hear people grumbling over the direction our country is heading. 

    So many times we find our selves discontent over all sorts of different things. We can become frustrated and discontent over our jobs, our financial situations, our health, or even the weather. We share these discomforts with anyone who will listen. We hope and pray that others will feel the same way as we do and will join in our misery and complaints. We sometimes rush to our computers or phones and make post with our complaints, hoping for sympathy, or confirmation.

  Our displeasure can cause us to become frustrated with our current condition. It might lead us to be come angry  and jealous as we look at our situation and the situations of others. We may find our selves growing increasingly greedy, seeking to do whatever it takes for us to finally be content. We can become anxious and worried, as we fear that we might never be happy. Our lack of contentment can lead us down roads of heart ache and pain. It can lead us to a variety of malicious emotions and a melancholy life.

    Amazingly this is not how we as Christians should live out our lives. None of this is something God desires for you and your life. God desires for you is to be content. To live this life with a since of peace joy and happiness. His desire for you is to be overcome with grief, worry, fear or depression. 

   Listen to the instructions Paul gives Timothy;

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and it is clear that we can carry nothing out. But having food and clothing, we will be content.- (1Ti 6:6-8)

    Paul tells Timothy you came into this world with nothing. So look around you and look at all the things that you own. Look at the food you have, the clothes you wear, the car you drive and the house you live in. None of those things you currently have are things that you brought with you when you were born. Those are blessings from God. God had provided all of those things for you to enjoy. So start enjoying them, and be grateful to God for them. 

    Paul also tells Timothy that we will carry nothing out with us. So all the things that God has provided for you are blessings for you to enjoy today, but they are not meant for you to hold onto forever. You will not be able to take it with you when you die. Live your life holding loosely the blessings that God has given you.

    Paul tells Timothy, "Having food and clothing we will be content. Another words if we have our needs meet we have more than enough reason to be satisfied here in this life. 

    Lets follow that bishops example. Look to the heavens and remember that is where our home is. Look to the earth and remember the end of our selves and look around you and see the many others who are hurting and suffering far greater than you are. Above all remember that because you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you have more than you will ever need.