Grief Relief

    If you have lived for any length of time you have had your fair share of grief. There have been loved one's who have passed on, jobs that you have lost, relationships ruined, the list could go on and on. Grief is sadly one of the problems that all of us face in this life. 

    The author Edgar Jackson in a few short words describes grief perfectly. He writes;

Grief is a young widow trying to raise her three children, alone. Grief is the man so filled with shocked uncertainty and confusion that he strikes out at the nearest person. Grief is a mother walking daily to a nearby cemetery to stand quietly and alone a few minutes before going about the tasks of the day. She knows that part of her is in the cemetery, just as part of her is in her daily work. Grief is the silent, knife-like terror and sadness that comes a hundred times a day, when you start to speak to someone who is no longer there. Grief is the emptiness that comes when you eat alone after eating with another for many years.

Grief is teaching yourself to go to bed without saying good night to the one who had died. Grief is the helpless wishing that things were different when you know they are not and never will be again. Grief is a whole cluster of adjustments, apprehensions, and uncertainties that strike life in its forward progress and make it difficult to redirect the energies of life.

    I wonder as you read those words if you could relate to it like I did. Can you relate to one of those situations or have you ever felt similar emotions. Like I said grief is just something that we have all have faced from time to time. In fact it may very well be the situation that you currently find your self as you are reading this today. 

    I can tell you that I have personally have had my share of grief. I remember having to go home after being fired from my job at Vanderbilt Hospital just a few short weeks before Christmas and finding out that my wife was pregnant with our second child. I remember the day my mother called me to tell my that my uncle Bob had passed away. I remember the day that I buried both my mother and my father. Then there was the time when my parents were going through their divorce. I remember the day my father took me aside to inform me that I had to be held back in school and that I had a learning disability (dyslexia).

     I could share with you all the tears I have cried, all the sleepless nights I have tossed in bed. I am sure you could share you own stories of suffering and loss. However in all the things I have gone through I have only found four things that have helped me through those moments of grief and heart ache. I want to share those with you today in the hopes that it will somehow be of some help for you today. 

    First thing that has helped me is this; Allow yourself to Grieve in your time and in your own way. We are all different and we all grieve differently. Its ok to cry, and it is perfectly acceptable to laugh. Its ok to be somber and desire to be left alone. It is equally ok to be surrounded by people and making jokes. It's ok to spend a day or a week or even months grieving. It is also ok for you to grieve in a shorter time span. Everyone's pain and hurt is different and how we process this pain is different as well. 

    The bottom line is this; don't try to be the strong one. Don't bottle up your emotions and pretend you are not hurting. While laughing and cracking jokes is fine if that is how you grieve, don't use humor to cover up what your going through in side. God gave you those emotions for a reason. I want to remind you that the bible even tells us that Jesus wept, so it's ok for you to do it as well. 

    Secondly, Time. I have found that time does not erase the pain, but it does lessen it. There are moments when it would seem you will never be the same. You may feel like you can't go on living. Believe me I have been there my self. However, I have found that in time the pain of your grief will lesson and be come easier to bear. In time the pain will lesson. There will be moment when the pain will come up and you will be reminded of your loss, but it won't be as hard as it is now. 

    Thirdly, Spending time with Jesus. By this I don't mean to go through the motions of religion. In times of grief and pain you need the person of Jesus Christ to help through the agony of your grief. Spend time talking with Him in prayer, be open and honest with Him. Share with Jesus the pain your dealing with the sadness you feel. Most of the Psalms that are written in the bible and there are 150 of them, were written in moments of grief, hardships and loss. Many of those Psalms you will read, the writer shares his raw emotions and pours out his pain to the Lord. You need to do that too. 

    Fourthly, Surround yourself with loved one's. Spend time with your family and your friends who love you and care for you. Talk with them, cry with them, spend time with them. Allow them the opportunity to comfort you and help you through this pain. Sometimes when we are going through grief we tend to shove people away. While it is ok to have some time of your own, make sure that you are not staying alone. Make sure that you allow your friend's and family comfort you in your grief. 

    It's that last part that I really want to challenge us as Christians with. The bible tells us in Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with rejoicing ones, and weep with weeping ones;" 

    So for those of you who are reading this ( and you have stayed this long ) if your going through a period of grief I hope these words will be helpful. I hope you will find someone, a family member, a friend, or a co-worker who will help you through it. 

    Those of us who are not going through a difficult time. I hope you would take the time to look around you and if you see someone who you know is going through a hard time. Don't let them go through it alone, especially if you call yourself a Christian. Be the shoulder they can cry on, a ear that is ready to listen. Give that person a word of encouragement. Write a card, send a message, or pick up the phone and let them know your thinking about them and praying for them. Life is hard enough, we should not have to go through it alone.